From webcam girl who was lost and broken, to a woman on fire for God and things of His kingdom.

I’m not sure if anyone can agree, but while I was growing up it was my mission to prove the assumptions about me wrong. One particular one I hated was that I was a “goody two shoes”. I remember in junior high someone told me that they didn’t want to hang out with me after I wasn’t comfortable being in a car with high teenagers. After that, I went above in beyond in mistakes to try and change that reputation. I wanted to fit in. I see now that that’s just how God made me, so what if people saw purity when they looked at me? I wish I understood the blessing on that then though.

With many twists, turns and rebellious decisions on the way, at the age of twenty-two, I found myself working three jobs to make ends meet and offered an “opportunity” to make good money. Going to a webcam studio that was drenched in a spirit of perversion, 2 am and 3 am calls with God knows who on the other side. But that is just the thing, God knows them, and their wives, and he knew me even if I was miles away from Him.

Thankfully this was all very short-lived, and not very successful.

Out of the blue I had gotten an invite to apply for a job I in no way seemed qualified for with my baking associate’s degree and hospitality experience but I went for it anyway. All I knew going in was that it seemed like admin work and I was up to go for it. I interviewed and got the job! To be honest I couldn’t even explain what I was about to start doing but I was pumped! It replaced the income of two of my jobs! I even stayed with that company for three years as an enrollment advisor.

Because of my newfound freedom, I was able to spend my money and go to salons and more restaurants to eat. All of which would cause me to pass a church. I got more and more curious and started feeling a pull to go inside of that church. I started attending and the first day there completely wrecked me but that’s a story for another day. I kept attending but not talking to anyone and I was dabbling the webcam thing. Only one person in my world knew.

But one day as I was driving home the Lauren Daigle song about dirty hands came on and like a flood, I was filled with something that felt like shame and forgiveness all at the same time. It was repentance. I pulled over and sobbed and cried out to God. I felt him say that I was his daughter and he did not create me to be a part of breaking marriages, and he was pulling me out of that. It was him that led me to that job, to my local church, and all in all to Him.

That same spot in the road was the exact spot months before that I said to myself “I’m just gonna live like God doesn’t exist because clearly he doesn’t”. That was how I convinced myself that doing webcam work was okay. But God had more in store for me! I surrendered my life to him and life has only gotten better, sweeter and more worth living.

How did you come to encounter God? Feel free to add thoughts or your testimony below!